


The Past Always Haunts

by Anya4202



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (a lot), Angst, Fluff, Like it’s been a year, Love them, M/M, Nightmares, but fluff, oh my god I wrote this so long ago, so sorry everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 19:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anya4202/pseuds/Anya4202
Summary: Alexander is afraid of thunderstorms. Fluff ensues.





	The Past Always Haunts

John Laurens always went to the grocery store on Sundays. He usually purchased enough food to get him and Alexander through the weekdays. However, this time he had brought his boyfriend with him. Alex, in all his curious ways, had decided to come to the grocery store with John and branch out from his usual {semi}-healthiness, and wanted to buy some junk food. 

"What do you feel like?" Laurens questioned Alexander, meandering through the frozen foods section.

Alexander walked ahead, looked around, and his face lit up.

"What did you find?"

"Hot pockets." Alexander stated, eyes wide and seemingly in awe of the frozen delicacy he had never consumed.

Laurens snorted. "I just thought of the absolute worst pick-up line ever created."

"What is it?" Alexander leaned in, smirking.

Laurens leaned in impossibly closer to Alexander, raising his eyebrows in mock seductiveness.

"Hey baby girl, you wanna taste my hot pockets?" Laurens was still feigning seriousness.

Alexander was the one who broke the silence, in a fit of giggles, which Laurens had always found to be one of the best parts of him. Laurens' façade of seriousness crumbled at the sound, and he too laughed.

"Ok baby girl, what kind of hot pocket does your heart desire?"

Alexander blushed at the nickname. "Ham and cheese, please, my dear Laurens."

"Okay," replied Laurens, pecking him on the lips, then grabbing a box of said hot pockets out of the freezer.

After storing the box in their cart, the two wandered through the produce section, and a clap of thunder could be heard. 

Just a small thunderstorm, Laurens pondered. I should be able to get home without too much trouble.

After paying for the items, Laurens' thoughts returned to Alexander, who was trailing behind him. Ever since Alexander had asked him out at a small restaurant three months ago, Hamilton had eventually moved from his dorm on the campus of King's College to John's apartment. Laurens and Alexander walked to the car. Turning the key into the ignition, Laurens looked over at his boyfriend. He wasn't usually this quiet. Usually, Laurens would either be listening to Alex's rants about Jefferson, or a teasing remark. This time though, Alexander was tense and silent on the drive to their apartment. 

The rain fell harder, and lightning flashed. Alex visibly tensed even more, back ramrod straight and slightly arched off of the seat behind him. 

"Hey, are you ok?" Laurens queried, curious and slightly concerned by the reaction.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine."

Laurens rested a hand on Alexander's thigh.

"Alright, as long as you're sure." Laurens glanced over at Alex, before turning his eyes back to the road.

The pair pulled into the parking lot of their apartment, and rushed to get inside because of the continuous fall of the rain, not quite a sprinkle but not quite a pour. Alexander was still unnervingly quiet.

Unlocking the door, Laurens and Alexander stepped into their room.

"Want to watch a movie?" Laurens asked.

"Sure, what one?" Alex replied.

"Your choice."

"Let's have a Disney marathon." Alexander stated. (TOLD YOU this story is incredibly cheesy kinda like those hot pockets;)) 

After putting away the groceries, Laurens joined Alexander on the chocolate-brown couch that was in front of the tv. Alex ended up with his head on his chest, curled up in Laurens' lap. Halfway through The Little Mermaid, Laurens looked down to a sleeping Alexander, mouth slightly open, hair falling out of its ponytail and framing his face. It was utterly adorable. Rain still sprinkled outside, drops of stray water slowly trickled down the window.

Carrying his boyfriend bridal-style to their shared bedroom, Laurens gently set Alex down on the bed, nestling him under the covers, and laying a fluffy blanket over his sleeping frame. Laurens then climbed into the bed, loosely draping his arms around Alexander's middle.

Staring at the ceiling, Laurens pondered Alexander's concerning muteness on the drive home form the grocery store. Could it be because of the rain? 

I know he's been in a deadly hurricane, but I've never really heard the rest of his past, Laurens thought. You know, I'd to learn more about his past, so whatever it is, we can face it, together.

Laurens drifted off to sleep, comforted by the pattering of the rain on the roof.

Around one in the morning, Laurens was awoken by a loud clap of thunder. He sat up and rubbed eyes, aware he was not going to sleep anytime soon because of the thunderstorm. Suddenly realizing that there wasn't a warmth at his side, Laurens looked over to find Alexander missing. 

Probably just getting some water, Laurens thought, pushing the knot of dread out of his stomach.

Lightning illuminated the sky as Laurens walked out of his bedroom, searching sleepily for his boyfriend.

He was not prepared for what was waiting for him.

Alexander was pacing wildly around the living room, hands over his ears. His eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears. His entire body was trembling, and he was muttering nonsense under his breath.

As Laurens approached his panicked boyfriend, the nonsense he was still rambling became clear.

Alexander had his eyes squeezed shut now, frantically whispering, "No, no, no, not again, this can't happen again, not while John is here, no, John, have to get him out of here, I can't let him experience this, no, no, I don't have the strength to outlast this, not this time."

Alexander was still completely oblivious of Laurens' presence.

"Alexander, baby," Laurens said softly.

Alexander backed himself into a corner, wedging himself in between the wall and a bookshelf. His eyes were wide with terror.

"John, you have to go."

"No, I'm not leaving you now." Laurens still talked with a soft, sweet voice, knowing from experience that harsh, loud words wouldn't help if a person was scared out of their mind.

"No, John, you don't understand. You have to leave now, you have to get out. The hurricane is back, it will destroy everything, and I can't lose everything, I can't lose you, not now, not this time, not ever. John Laurens, it me too damn long to find you, and you're going to leave now, before this storm destroys everything I have. I can't lose you."

Alexander's face was overtaken with pure horror, and his words morphed into sobs. His entire body shook with them, his hands shook uncontrollably.

Laurens tried a new tactic to calming his boyfriend down.

"Alexander, do you trust me?"

Alexander looked at him through tear-filled eyes, and Laurens could see him struggling to decide whether to listen to him or continue to persist on getting John out of the storm. It broke his heart to see Alexander so vulnerable, because he knew Alex hated being vulnerable himself, or any emotion that might make him seem weak.

"Yes, of course I do," Alexander said, quietly, seemingly trying to figure out why Laurens was asking him such a question.

"Then trust me when I say this. I'm going to take you back to the bedroom, and I'm not going anywhere. I will always be here for you, Alexander, my baby girl. Always."

Alexander walked carefully into his boyfriend's waiting arms, still crying and trembling. His sobs only got louder each time lightning flashed or thunder boomed. Laurens carried him to the bedroom, and eased them both back onto the bed, and held a curled-up and shaking Alex tight to his chest. For the next hour or so, Laurens would press little kisses into Alexander's hair, and squeeze him just a little tighter every time he would tremble from the storm outside.

Around two-thirty am, Alexander pulled away from Laurens' comforting grip.

"You don't have to talk about it, you know," Laurens said, soothingly.

"I know. I want to." Alexander responded, honesty and fatigue the only things Laurens could see in his eyes.

"John, when I was ten years old, my father just left. He never said goodbye, never said why he left, didn't say anything. My mother and I woke up morning and he was just gone. I remember her screams, her wailing voice, and just wondering why he would leave us. Two years later, and my mother and I got really sick. No one knew what we had, and therefore no one could help us. I remember laying in that bed, my mother's eyes on me, her strong arms that were looped around me becoming increasingly weaker. I remember that last breath she took, how her grip went slack," Alexander was crying again now, and started to tremble. Laurens admired how Alexander could get through this pain of telling someone his past; of trusting them enough to do so. He also marveled at how eloquent his words were, even though he was struggling through his emotions.

"Then," Alexander started again, albeit a little shakily, "I moved in with my cousin, but he took his own life.  There was blood, there was so much blood." Alexander's hands were shaking uncontrollably now, and Laurens took them in his hands.  This gave Alexander the courage to continue.  
"When I was seventeen, a horrendous hurricane destroyed my home. It destroyed everything I had. There was nothing left, so I decided to write. I was so sponsored by people in my town, I raised enough money to buy myself a one-way ticket to New York. And that's how I found you."

"Alex, God, I had no idea, I'm so-" John started.

"I'm not asking for your pity. I'm not asking for you to say you're sorry, I've heard too much of that throughout my life. All I'm asking of you is to stay with me, just stay, promise me you'll always stay." Alexander was sobbing now, burying his face into Laurens' chest. 

Laurens held him there, gently rocking him back and forth. He would occasionally rub circles onto his back and whisper, "I'll stay, of course I'll stay, always, always my baby girl."

After around an hour of this, Alexander uncurled from John, eyes red and puffy, and wouldn't meet Laurens' eyes. Laurens hooked a finger under his chin, and lifted up his head so it would force Alex to meet his loving gaze.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being so weak, so selfish, so damn pathetic."

"No. Alexander, you don't get to apologize for sharing your feelings. You are not pathetic. You are absolutely everything to me. I love you."

"I love you too," Alexander said, sounding sleepy, and softly kissed Laurens. He then pulled Laurens down so they both were under the blankets, and snuggled up into his side.

And at last, at four in the morning, John Laurens knew all was well when he heard the slight sound of Alexander snoring.


End file.
